Saturday, October 6, 2012

YOU SHALL NOT PASS: Unless of course, you just go through it anyway.

Earlier today, I originally planned on blogging about every Missouri Western student's FAVORITE annual event: Convocation on Critical Issues, and how guest speaker, energy tycoon T. Boone Pickens' presentation was ended by a power outage, (I can't get over the irony). Instead, after the events of today, I decided to blog about my duty weekend. This has been the easiest duty weekend I have probably ever had thus far, (knock on wood). Despite the lack of incidents with my residents, I have still managed to have two circumstances tonight that have given me one of the largest headaches I think I have ever experienced. Earlier today, probably around 7pm, I heard a knock at my door. I sat for about 20 seconds contemplating whether I was even going to answer it or not. I reluctantly got up and opened the door, where a resident informed me that someone had gone out the emergency exit door and the alarm was going off. I begrudgingly grabbed my keys and went to the office to get the key to turn the alarm off. As I approached the hallway, several residents were starting to peek out into the hallway to see if there was a fire, shooter, bomb, troll in the dungeon, etc. Some of them even asked me if they needed to evacuate. The closer I got to the end of the hallway, the quicker I found out that the alarm on this door was louder than the sound system for a southeast Asian wedding party. After I got the alarm turned off and my residents quit asking me what happened, I could barely even move because my head hurt so badly. That sucker was LOUD. I went back to my room to watch the Nebraska game, which, by the way, is not helping with the headache situation. I sat here wondering what possessed someone to go out the door on the side of the building which clearly states that it is an EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY, and that an ALARM WILL SOUND if it is opened. Peoples' disregard for these postings just astounds me.

Around 9pm I went to do another round. Everything was pretty quiet around the building. I picked up some trash, as usual. I talked to a few residents, as usual. I crop-dusted every hallway to let the residents know what I really think about them, as usual. I then returned to the lobby to find EVERY Missouri Western resident's FAVORITE University Police Officer, Travis Fulton. (I really hope you guys are picking up on my sarcasm here. Otherwise, we might have some problems). I quickly asked Officer Fulton what the hell he was doing in my building. Can I get a drum roll, please? SOMEONE RAN OVER THE PARKING GATE, AGAIN. This is the second time in THREE DAYS. Now, I understand some of you don't understand how big of a deal this is, because you may not go to school here, or you may not be on staff in the Residence Halls, so I'll go ahead an clear this up for you. THIS IS A RECURRING PROBLEM. Our LOVELY Griffon Hall residents do this thing where, if they don't have their gate key, that they just BREAK IT DOWN like Busta Rhymes in his verse of "Look At Me Now." So, then, Fulton and myself began looking at the security cameras in the parking lot to find the dumbass. After about an hour or so, we identified the vehicle. So, with that said, this next comment is directed at the idiot who thinks they are driving an army tank, YOU'RE CAUGHT. Enjoy paying for the gate and your two tickets.

Today's rant is brought to you by: Pet Safe Invisible Fence--Keeping dogs, (and residents) out of places they shouldn't be, since 1973.

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